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Take A Moment To Show Some Love
Beginning today, take a moment to have some small talk with someone you normally wouldn’t with. Take a moment to “pat someone on the back” whose job position doesn’t get much credit. Take a moment to give or share with someone in need or less fortunate than you. Find a way to let someone know that they’re important too.
The former Rap star Big Daddy Kane  once did a small thing (he probably doesn’t know this) that helped change a certain “slice” of my life. One day he asked me if I’d give him a lift to his house in Queens from downtown Brooklyn. I responded with a “sure, no problem… I just need to stop by my house for a quick sec, first”! As we got into my car and started driving, I found myself thinking of a way to “apologize” for the non-newness and lack of luxury, of my vehicle. It was a used burgundy Buick with no tints, no shinny rims and no booming sound system.
As we bounced over some potholes, I made a joke about feeling all the bumps, as we drove up the block. He replied, “I don’t care about what you drive… I’m fine with it”. That statement is still with me today! There I was, an up and coming Rapper rolling with the super-star Rapper of that time, who made me feel totally comfortable right where I was at that time of my life. He did not judge me because of where I was, compared to him! There was no shame to be felt. So through my neighborhood, around the corner up and into my mom’s apartment were I lived. Kane had just showed me something special for my life. Not with rhymes or hundreds of groupies at his beck-and-call but with sincere equality (even if it could have been because I was giving him a lift).
Today, in my own life, I try to take a moment to ask “the clean-up person” how they are doing. I try to do better when it comes to giving to a person in need. My initial reaction use to be that a homeless person would use my money for drugs. But what’s important to me these days is that I do my part. I can’t control what happens after that. God usually takes it from there.
I remember playing Racquetball at the gym one day. In between games a friendly older “grand-mother” type lady started to chat with me. I spent the next 10 to 15 minutes talking and laughing with her. I sensed that some of my young fellow racquetballers were giving me a look like “why are you spending so much time talking to the crazy old lady”? The thing is, we had a good time, chatting! Who else was gonna show her some love? Her life is not less important. Why should she enjoy things less than we?
What am I talking about here? Taking a moment out of your busy and prestigious life to make sure others feel just as special. Their apartment may not be as nice as your home. They may not make as much money as you do or drive that tricked-out car that you drive but their hearts are just as precious as yours and their passions may even be bigger than yours! I they come to your home, go out of your way to feed them well and make them feel totally at ease.
I remember driving up Cobb parkway one day. While I was at the red light, I saw to my right a man mowing the rather large lawn for some car dealership. As he pushed the mower across into more of my view, there was his little son (around 4 or 5 years old). This average man was working hard to provide for his family but he took the moment to find time with his son, as well (even though he was working). I saw so much happiness as that little boy ran, jumped and played back and forth as his dad mowed. Social status did not matter to this boy but this “moment” with his dad probably meant everything to him! No fancy cars or houses… just the moment seemed more than enough for that father and his little boy. I was witnessing a moment of the purest kind of love… my eyes started tearing up…
Don’t Let Them Get To You
Free yourself from someone else’s “remote control” of you. Don’t allow anyone to have the power of being in your head even when they’re not around! That’s just too much power for them to have over you. From now on, brush that dirt off of your shoulders! Why let your ex, co-worker or anyone for that matter, mess up the rest of your day? You have too much future to look forward to. Make sure they’re only a failed distraction. This way you can stay focused.
When people notice that you’re hard to get to as far as getting under your skin, they’ll have no choice but to move on. More importantly, you will also be an example of supreme composure.
If You Know You’ve Got It
Don’t be so captivated with all that you see on television. The dancing, the acting, the comedy, the gurus, the chefs, the athletes, the CEO’s, the new big-dogs of some industry. Do people ever tell you that you’re pretty good at something? Anything? Remember, there are wealthy “skate-boarders” out there, my friend!
Is there something unique that you do that most can’t do the way you do? You already may be one of those television celebrities but you just have not had to vehicle to be seen by the masses! What is the real difference between you and J-Lo, for example? Is she really much more beautiful than you are or does she have the access to great make-up artists? Is she really a dancing or acting genius or did she grind and dig until producers knew that she’d be easy to work with?
Look at Jennifer Hudson… two years ago she never could have dreamed George Clooney would be handing her a Golden Globe award for best actress! She was just like you two and a half years ago; someone who had some potential to do some things. All she had to do was get up and get out there, to be seen!
Now you don’t have to want to be a TV or movie star but if you know you have some talent at something, SHOW THE WORLD, or your city, or your boss. You have your own gift… so don’t just keep it a secret. Your claim to fame and historic achievement could be a myspace page or youtube video away!
Let me tell you something, the big-dogs out there try their best to keep things going and make it look fairly easy but they fear one thing… and it’s that undiscovered talent of YOU! So as long as you keep hiding yourself, your boss is happy. Before Jennifer Hudson came on the scene, those other actresses were happier because their chances of winning were better.
If you know that you got “something”, work it NOW! Super stars are no different than you… they just made more phone calls, that’s all. Come on now, you know, that you know - so do it!!!
30% Skill, 70% YOU
In the work force, you naturally aim to become better and faster at utilizing the tools of your particular job. When you work on a computer, you focus on becoming quicker at using quick-keys, shortcuts or punching in information. If you are on a cash register you aim to punch the keys without looking down at them with perfect accuracy. If you teach people, you may strive to come up with the most effective lesson plan for your students or clients. Whatever field you’re in, the unspoken requirement seems to be speed and efficiency. After all “time is money”, right?
So it seems that if you become the master of your tools, you will finally be at the top of your game! This is not necessarily true. In fact your most important tool to master is YOU. It is you and your personality that will be a major factor for whether or not you get hired for your next job. It will be your “people skills” that makes your clients refer you to their friends. It will be your personality and character combined with your equipment skill level, that makes you outstanding!
Here are a few things to consider, as you become a master in your field:
- When you are working, don’t be like a cold “machine” that has no personality. Learn how to smile and have some small talk as you do what you’re doing.
- Be in control when things go wrong. If everybody else is freaking out, you don’t need to join them. There needs to be someone who knows they can get through this successfully… let that be YOU. It’s called keeping your composure.
- Being fast is good but doing it right the first time is even better! Slow down 10% or so in order to ensure you are doing things correctly on the first try. The 10% drop in speed will still be good enough for your clients, especially if things a virtually perfect when you are done!
- Be “REAL”. You are not just an employee. You are a human being just like anyone else. Don’t be afraid to reflect that as a person. When your clients see you as equal with regard to life’s responsibilities, they tend to respect you more and treat you less like a work “robot”.
When someone is looking to hire you, they first look at your resume to make sure you have some background and experience in the field. More importantly, they want someone they can picture working with, personality wise! Can you relate? Do you have a sense of humor? Can they rest easy when they leave you alone with clients? That’s really the majority of what they’re looking for. Knowing the equipment is good but having a great person to run it, is the ultimate!
The old-school pros of your field can do what they do “with their eyes closed”… almost effortlessly. That’s what makes them great. So work more on the total you and fine-tune your career to greatness.
Blinded By Limited Vision
If you knew that people of your age and race were earning $300,000 a year, would you still wish you could one day make $50,000? If you found out that the young women you sometimes see in the grocery store has been successfully self employed for over 10 years, would you still want to work for an employer who tells you when and how long your lunch will be? What if you had a chance to hang out on a movie shoot for Steven Spielberg and your input lead to the idea of the films most amazing scene? Would you still be trying to be head manager at the local car wash?
Well first let me say that there would not be anything wrong with what you chose to do! Everyone has different goals and the choice is yours. I’m simply checking to make sure that you don’t have “limited vision” for your life. You see, most people don’t realize things unless they see it with their own two eyes. If they can’t see it, they then remain stuck were they are, indefinitely.
When I got a chance to see how radio and television commercial were made, my eyes were opened. Next, my buddy told me how much the big dog engineers were making! All of a sudden I had bigger goals for my life because I was able to see what was out there.
After I won the world champion Rap contest, I was suddenly on MTV, BET and touring with Ice Cube! That life was no longer something I saw on TV… I was now part of it. For many years I never really thought about being a homeowner until I had my first house. I then felt like I was part of a new class of people. My vision was expanded.
Things once dreamt about were now reachable. I began to meet wealthy people who look like me. The thing is no one comes knocking on your door. You have to GET OFF THE BLOCK! Leave your neighborhood, fly to another city for the weekend, go on a road trip and trade in those same old “stagnant” friendships. Be around friends that prompt you to take it to a higher level. Don’t settle for being the best on your block… you have something more to offer the world. Problem is the world doesn’t know you’re out there.
You roadblock is believing that Beyonce’ (for example), could not use a friend like you. Not a fan, a friend! You can’t picture yourself having an additional home in Florida and an apartment in New York while your finances are all taken care of. You won’t believe that you can be the next president of MTV until you find a way to get on the Golf course with the current president.
You’d be surprised at how “regular” those larger than life people are! Remember, P Diddy (for example), is not better than you… he just has broader vision. So don’t be blinded by your current surroundings. See yourself at a greater place and get there!
Don’t Handcuff Yourself!
Do you ever find yourself saying, “once you do this, then you’ll do that”? Well I applaud you for having a mindset of planning but my question to you is; are you delaying the process?
Many times I’ve heard people say, “I’ll purchase my house soon; once I pay off all of my bills”. Paying off your bills is an excellent goal to have but must you do that in order to enjoy the benefits of being a homeowner this year? For example, when I bought my first house, I was not debt free. I was blessed enough to find a foreclosure deal that needed some minor cosmetic repairs and a paint job to bring it up to par. Three years later the house almost doubled what I paid for it and I was able to become DEBT FREE!
Opportunity knocks at it’s own time, not yours. You have to really weigh where you’re leaning your energy. If you’re in a field of work that you know is not helping you to get to your ultimate goals for you and your family, you need to re-plan your attack, now. I am NOT saying quit your job today but re-plan your attack today! Get that ball rolling!
Don’t handcuff yourself by not doing until you pay off your bills. Is there a move to be made that will propel you to the next step of your life? Don’t be trapped in that office watching the months zoom by. You can actually be a phone call away from profound change! Don’t handcuff yourself by not sharing with others (who can help you), what you’re trying to accomplish. Don’t handcuff yourself by saying you’re doing for your boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife or mom and dad, first. Why not help yourself so that you are better able to help them? Remove that pause button from your life.
You don’t have to be able to see your future in every detail. Just be passionate about what drives you. The other details of life will fall into place as you journey toward your goals. Your love and passion for what you do will eventually provide a form of income for you to eat and be sheltered. Your constant communication with new people will open doors you never thought could open.
Don’t keep your goals a secret! You can’t get the help you need if you’re the only one who knows what it is you do on the side. Remove those handcuffs and be more active. Think, discuss, plan and set monthly goals. Then watch your life transform into something you never could have imagined a few years ago. The people who win are the people who stay-the-course. So do what you do. Devote and half-hour each day to your hearts desire and increase that time as you go. Three years or so from now kick back and enjoy the feeling of seeing how far you have come from where you are today!
The Pressures Of Having To Be Perfect
For most of my life people have been so kindly complimenting me on my performance. They would say I have the potential to do anything. Many times you hear people say, “you’re born with that type of talent”. I think that most people can be trained and conditioned to be great at something, over time.
Some people you meet think that you have gotten where you got to by getting “lucky”. Others say, “wow, your job is easy”! “All you do is play ball” or “you get to play around with computers all day” or “you get to tell people what to do”. The problem is that they have no idea of how difficult it is to maintain your level of performance in that field! As a kid you wish mom or dad knew how much of a nervous wreck you were over having to be perfect.
There was a time in my career when I would literally get sick to my stomach over the pressure of having to be perfect for a new client. Although no one has ever asked me to be perfect but I knew in my heart that I had to be pretty close to it! Being young and fairly unknown made me have to work twice as hard to get any respect. Being black in a predominantly white field of work increased the pressure ten fold when it came to performance.
At the end of the day it all worked out because I was really good at what I was doing but no one knew what I was going through to prepare. Mentally, it began weeks before working with my client… as soon as I find out the potential job is headed my way. I begin to anticipate what I may be asked to do. I begin to think about the several scenarios in which I may be asked to get something done and then I make sure I can do them when asked.
Then there are the people skills that no one ever really fully explains to us. I must be able to do my job technically while simultaneously conversing what clients about yesterdays Football game and/or the today’s current events… but I’m not allowed to make a mistake with their job. If that happens this happy small talk would instantly halt to a cold silence accompanied by a death stare! So I must be flawless. If I am flawless I can maintain this salary and provide for my family. If I’m flawless I’ll be able to maintain this life style that makes people believe I have it all together.
Oh God, can I keep this up day after day and year after year? It’s not as easy as I make it seem. Some nights I can’t even sleep because there is so much anxiety. The next day it’s “Shawn, you were great! You’re so good at what you do!” In my mind I wonder if they would just throw me out on the street if I were anything less than perfect. Well, these days I’ve come to realize that if I just sincerely just try to do my best (without losing a nights sleep or my mind); it will all turn out just fine. If it doesn’t then maybe that particular position isn’t really for me. So remove the pressure of it all and just do what you do. You’ll still be great at what you do because you are truly gifted!
Hang In There… Okay?
Do you ever feel like you can reach out and help others? You can be there to listen. You can be a shoulder for them to lean on. You are somehow able to give someone that helpful advice that was right on time. That is an awesome thing!
It makes you happy when you are able to assist somebody. You truly want to see them succeed! Now the question is, who will help you when you’re in need? People don’t realize that although you seem to always be there for others, you also sometimes need help too! Who can you go to? Will you be embarrassed because that special “you” is actually breaking down?
No one can tell if you’re half a step away from total destruction. They just have no clue! It’s not always “rosy” for people who seem to have it all together. Sometimes they are crying out to an empty room deep inside of them. No one to share with and no one who would even think a person with all that you have, could ever be hurting.
Well, let me tell you…. hang on just a little while longer. It’s amazing how one day can be “Doom’s Day” and the next be that ultimate break through. Sometimes by just letting that one more day pass, is enough for something eye-opening to change your outlook.
It’s not the end of the world unless you really throw that towel in. So hold on another day and another, if you can. Keep active. Keep moving and doing, moving and doing. Keep praying and don’t stop doing what you know is right. Your answers will reveal themselves to you as you talk and seek out what you need. Good people like yourself cannot remain denied.
You will ultimately be rewarded for fighting through this temporary storm. Brighter days are lining up for you, as you read this. Watch and see!
Moving Forward, Looking Over Your Shoulder…
Are you walking forward on a treadmill that’s moving backward? Which one is currently leading your life… your past, your present or your future?
Have you really let go of who you were or could have been? Do you regret that one decision, that seemed to change everything? Maybe your mirror reflects a person that you’re not happy with, today.
On the flip side, some are able to see where they came from. More importantly, what they came out of! At times we’re still in disbelief that our deceased friends or loved ones are not here with us anymore. None of us really have the answer to why but what should be more thought provoking is the fact that you’re alive today to read this!
You may have overcome drugs. You may have overcome that dreadful divorce. You may have overcome other people’s underestimation of your destiny! Your past may be something you struggle to let go of. If you think you used to be good long ago, just refuse to be a one-trick-pony! Know that you can be even better than good this time around!
Don’t get too stuck on your present status, either. Whether you are living your dream or wondering how and why you are in an undesirable position, LOOK TORWARD YOUR FUTURE. If your heart is beating right now, you still have a chance to make a change for the better!
Let your past be just that, “your past”. Tonight, commit to breaking out of your mental box (because no matter what direction you go in, you’ll always be held back by something). So look straight ahead and let tomorrow morning be your first day of on having no limits, for the rest of your life!
You Are Not Alone
You may say to yourself, “wow, how did I get here”? You are in a situation that is seriously difficult. As you pass people in the street and notice your friends, family and co-workers… they all seem to be moving right along with their lives, fairly smoothly.
You on the other hand, have this problem and/or secret which, you cannot easily get out of. You sometimes are totally consumed in thought about how you can free yourself from this dilemma. For some, it’s addiction. For others it’s dealing with deceit. Your problem could be having to face a particular person or truth. In other cases it could be anxiety or living a double life.
The question is, who would understand what you’re going through? Will you be judged, laughed at, or be an out-cast? Why doesn’t anyone ask you the right questions so that you can release? You try to give signals for help but no one is picking up on them.
While I may not have the solution to your problem, here are a few things that may be useful:
- Find a quiet place (bathroom, car, down the hall) to say a quick prayer to God about helping you get through this. When it get’s this tough, God may be the only one who will listen!
- Know that you are probably not the only one in your circle of friends that is going through this. People like to “act” like everything is okay, when it’s really not.
- Start thinking about whom that someone is, that you can confide in. Sometimes it’s better that they’re not too close to you. A counselor or someone who is older than you (and you think they may actually “get it”) may be a good source.
- DO NOT spend a lot of time alone! Get out of that house!!! Locking yourself in your room or home can lead to a slow crippling due to depressing thoughts (the mind is powerful). Keep yourself involved and busy if at all possible.
- Focus, on new goals and challenges. Occupy yourself with a new project (poetry book, model plane/boat assembly, song writing or a short film script, learn how to draw, take dance classes, Karate, etc.).
For what’s it’s worth, make sure you know this; they are people out there who are going through things just like you. Your boss, your neighbor, that doctor, the rich guy with that nice house, the seemingly happily married women with her picturesque family, etc. They just don’t tell you about their problems. Believe or not, some of those smiling faces have bigger issues than you!
Get to a library and start to find books or audio books about positive stories. You can even try joining a Bowling league. Find a youthful church (or a church of your peers) to surround yourself with positive people. They’re not all “saints” but you should find people who should be aiming to better their lives. There you may find some help from someone who has been where you are now.
Lastly, contact me if you feel lead to do so. I may not have all the answers but I will certainly listen and recommend possible solutions, without judging you! You are not alone.
So Beautifully Put
I sometimes laugh at myself about how I can sometimes be so moved by movies about love. Good writing, music and great production can practically put me is a spell for certain films.
For example, Shakespeare In Love, Lady Sing The Blues, Forrest Gump, Life Is Beautiful and Memoirs Of A Geisha. Look at the basic theme of each of these. Shakespeare In Love shows how we can get so helplessly attracted to someone (or something like theater or poetry) that you cannot bare a moment apart. Your mind is literally occupied by that special someone almost 24 hours a day. You think about them so much that you can’t sleep. As kids most of us would call this infatuation. The style of speech in this movie even becomes romantically captivating… as it comes across as a dialect of passion, in this film.
In Lady Sing The Blues, I was so impressed by the male character, Mr. Louis McKay. He showed that when you love someone unconditionally, you stay by their side through thick and thin. It does not matter how low they get or how easily you can find someone else and move on. Unexplainable devotion!
To my knowledge, they describe Forrest Gump as a story about a man who could not lie. The Gump character loved his friend since they were kids… and basically nothing could ever change that feeling for him, EVER! So much so that his love interest (Jenny), couldn’t wrap her head around understanding why he loved her so.
Now, Life Is Beautiful touches me almost to tears (I know, I’m kind of a softy). This father did EVERYTHING in his power to hide devastation and sadness from his little son. He found ways to communicate to his wife that he was still alive when he was actually being held captive. Even as he would ultimately face death, he kept his son unaware and protected from harm! What kind of heavenly love is so powerful to be able to do that under those circumstances?
Lastly (as you flow with me on this “sappy” journey), Memoirs Of A Geisha shows how love ultimately prevails. It showed how two people spent half a lifetime finding a way to properly show their secret love for each other. Did you hear me? HALF OF THEIR LIVES in the process! How do you express that kind of relief of finally connecting with the love of your dreams? It seems almost impossible to figure out what to do from that point on (great ending).
If only we can love like these “fantasy” films. If only we would do anything for our brothers and sisters? I am inspired to love. I am inspired to give. Let me shock people with kindness. Let them wonder why. Most of all, may it rub off on them, that they may love someone else as much too… leaving the unexpecting recipient in a cloud of indescribable bliss.
Togetherness
I realize that people customarily make individual goals for the New Year but I’d like to focus on an individual goal that takes two people.
Think about the relationships that you have in your life. Friends, co-workers, husband, wife, boyfriend or girlfriend. How do you communicate with them? Do you allow ego and pride to dictate your attitude towards them? Do you frequently argue or find yourself in defensive mode with them? Well, why not make this year the beginning of more loving relationship?
Be the leader in showing the other person composure. Here’s a list of things you can do to have healthier relationships:
- Do not curse at them when you’re making your points. You’ll only get the same back and it will usually escalate into a heated argument.
- Don’t feel like you have to scold them. Instead try to encourage them. For example if you want that person to find a job, help them plan out a schedule and offer to help. Show support and never anger.
- Share more! Let the other in on your jokes or what is cracking you up. Try things together… don’t go to a “life changing” seminar or show by yourself and then attempt to explain it to your friend. Allow them to experience what you have experienced, live for themselves.
- Remember, It’s not you against him or her. It’s both of you together as one unit against the others!!! Protect them from the attack of others. Don’t be so defensive.
- Explain what it is that makes you edgy. Before you begin, agree that if one of you get’s “loud”, you’ll both immediately stop and resume tomorrow.
- When you’re in public together, finds ways to praise or compliment the other. People admire that and your friend will too!
- Remember when someone is shown “love” it makes the other feel like they owe it back… and that’s good.
- Be understanding. Think about why they may have done what they’ve done. Maybe they had a misrepresentation of what the issue really is. That can happen at times.
- Learn how to say, “I’m sorry”. It takes the stronger of the two to do that. It can also be contagious.
- Analyze together, where you both want to be one day. Discuss how the people who are successful got there. This keeps you thinking about the more important things and prevents you from arguing about trivial things.
You can get along, laugh a lot and have a relationship to die for! Lead by example, starting now!
Who Will You Become?
Back in the day, I remember a particular conversation my friends and I were having about this new guy in the NBA, Michael Jordan. One friend said, “Oh, he’ll never be as good as Dr. J”! Today Mr. Michael Jordan is described as possibly being the greatest basketball player who ever lived. Similarly I remember watching a T.V. show called That’s Incredible. In this particular episode they featured a young boy who was able to play golf like no other kid his age. He was so cute. Years later he would become the great Tiger Woods.
Even outside of sports there are many real world examples of people becoming stars. Dancer Jennifer Lopez, the intern Sean Puffy Combs, the street hustler Jay-Z, clean rapper Will Smith and that little girl with the unique name… Oprah. The list goes on and on. These people, like you, were just dreaming of who they would become if the right doors opened up.
Well, what does it take? How do you know that if you continue to do what you do, someone will pay you big bucks to do it again and again? No one told me to keep skateboarding because one day ESPN’s X-Games would pay me and create a video game in my name (i.e.; Tony Hawk and others). Who knew? No one told me there would be a day where you can continue to put out hit albums as an almost 40-year-old Rapper! Who knew?
So is that the key to it all? Just continue to press forward and do what I do until I master it? What about the plan B of holding-off on my passion and going to college to be a good Doctor, Lawyer and everything else they want me to be? How do I decide? How long will I have to wait to be discovered?
Who will you become? Will you be great or forgotten? What is your purpose? Maybe you will be greater than Jay-Z and Diddy ever were! Is that possible? Yes it is! Remember, who could ever be as good as Pete Sampras was at Tennis? Well, tell that to this kid Roger (Federer)!
More importantly, you must define greatness. Will you even be on television displaying your skills or will you be in the background tucking away your millions as the masses constantly miss how instrumental you are in making someone else look great? Will your greatness show itself in dollars and cents? Does it have to? No… not to your son or daughter who know without a doubt there is none greater than YOU!
Who will you become? Maybe you will end up being great because you will touch someone’s life and save him or her from destruction. They in turn will never forget you as long as they live. They will share the story of what you meant to them one person at a time… because you have become an inspiration in their life. You have become AWESOME!
Can Strengths Also Be Weaknesses?
Paying special attention to detail. Knowing exactly what to say and when to say it. Being so well rounded and adaptable to almost any environment. Being not only up to date but ahead of the game!
Well, aren’t these all great qualities? Most people just wing-it. Things don’t come to others as easily as they come to you. You pretty much can do it all! How could that kind of skill-set ever hurt you? Well when you are multi-talented it can be difficult to make a decision on what you should stick with. The people from each area or genre would want you to stick with them but you have so many choices and they probably don’t even know about your other gifts!
Let me point out a few things. Is it possible to be so skilled at blending in with people that you actually lose who you really are? Is it possible to be so “ahead of the game” that you leave a career before others catch on (or before you actually “peak”)? Can you pay so much attention to detail that you tend to go a bit overboard with your adaptiveness? The answer to these questions is YES!
Life is strange in that many of those things your parents and grandparents were telling you, are actually true. Why does it take 5 to 10 (sometimes 15 or 20) years to find out, is the question. Many times we actually do know too much and it can work against us. At times you look over at “the others” and scratch your head like “I could have done that”! Or “I was doing that back in the day”! Thing is, your early sprouting can somehow, someway, work against you.
Next thing you know you’ve made choices that were so “skillfully advanced” that you end up missing, TOTALLY MISSING. Things do seem to work themselves out naturally (as the others slowly do). You don’t have to always be ahead of everybody else. What’s important is that you’re true to YOU! The moment you become someone else, for someone else (or others)……… you set yourself up for a rude awakening 5 to 10 years down the line.
So don’t get caught sitting on some tree stump saying, “How in the world did I get here”? Find out who you are and stick with it. Let people adapt to you! Don’t bite your tongue just to impress… the truth is best told now, not later. There are respectful ways of voicing (or showing) who you are and who you’re not. And trust me, the truth will at some point reveal itself, anyway. So avoid disaster later and don’t be too ahead of yourself now.
Think About What The Reason Could Be
Why are you not where you think you should be today? Why did you not get that job or position you wanted? Why did that relationship fail? Why are you not rich yet?
At times I too struggle with the “whys” and “what ifs”. Why is it that even though I rapped with Jay-Z and The Notorious B.I.G., I never became a millionaire Rap super-star? I mean come on, I proved myself by winning a world champion rap contest, for crying out loud! I was constantly on MTV and BET. I toured with Ice Cube and Too Short. So as most people continue to ask me, “what happened”?
Well, I’ve come to realize that if I would have blown up “crazily” as a rapper, certain other things may not have happened for me. For example, what would I have to fall back on after the hit records started to slow down and some younger and better “Freshco” came along? Would I have built the strong audio engineering background that I have which has afforded me two houses, consistent health benefits and a not too shabby credit score? Would I have truly been a Rap super-star or would I have been slain over a rivalry for one of my homeboys who always seems to get into fights (or shoot-outs)?
Why are you running late today? Will you bypass a fatal accident and realize that could have been you? How important is this appointment, really? Why did he or she have to die? Maybe you needed to realize how suddenly your life could be over. Maybe now you are more able to cherish every moment to make sure you’re always moving forward! If that certain relationship did not happen, would you know how to love better or watch out for signs of incompatibility?
I realize that if I were all rich and famous living on some cloud, I would not be here to have the privilege of chatting with you and touching someone’s life to get them through a problem they may have. I now understand that things happen because God is trying to get my attention. He’s tugging on my shirt! There must be something that He needs you to see! I may not be as prepared as I think I am… to be doing what I think is best for me.
Seems that things work out better if I’m consistently doing my part by working hard. Then things actually unfold naturally as to where I’m supposed to be and what I’m supposed to be doing. This happens because in my travels I continue to meet key people who I can learn from.
I now see that although the path may change, my destiny is still mine! I believe in my heart that my season will come in perfect timing, for me.
Start Now!
Do you have an idea of when you’re going to retire? Or is it more like, you’ve heard that people retire around age 65? Well, if you’re fairly young, you may feel like it’s such a long way off… why even spend so much time on the topic?
Let me tell you this, many people in this country will never be able to retire! They will work for someone for the rest of their days on this earth. Would you be okay with that, for yourself? Maybe you will be able to retire but will it be in line with the target age that you have planned?
For the record let me say that I am not a financial advisor in any way, shape or form. That being said, here are just a few things to think about:
- You may want to retire by age 50 or earlier but based on the rate of inflation and your future retirement lifestyle, you may not have accumulated enough savings to sustain you for your retirement life span.
- Make your choice now; should you live like a multi-platinum Rap star now or live slightly more humbly so that you no longer have to report in to work, in the future?
- What you need to do as soon as you finish reading this is, find a FINANCIAL ADIVSOR/PLANNER! The financial advisor will open your eyes to things you have never had sufficient detail about.
So be aware… stocks, savings and a checking account is not necessarily the answer to being able to retire. How much will you be taxed when it’s time to withdraw? What’s the rate of return? What can a good life insurance plan do? Do you really need a will, now?
Get on this stuff now because the years fly by, really fast. Either you’ll be ready or you won’t… IT’S UP TO YOU… START NOW!
So, You Want To Be A Rapper, huh?
I try my best to be mindful of not shedding a bad light on becoming a recording artist. Always know that you can be successful no matter what has happened in other people’s careers!
What I do think it’s my duty to do, is give the “up and comers” a heads-up. I’ve seen young soloists and groups that think they have found a way in. They have some street buzz and are getting produced or promoted be the current/main Rap star. Problem is, they don’t realize that they can be 18 months away from working at the local hardware store, again.
Here are a few things to watch out for as an up and coming Rapper (or singer);
- Record labels try to take as much publishing as you’ll let them take. They’ll offer you money in exchange but you’ll end up missing out on making long-term money for every time your record is played.
- Record labels write the contract such that they can drop you off of the label at anytime. Meaning if they find a better and more current you, your back at the local hardware store!
- When your record is hot, don’t go chasing women (or men) all night! Instead keep recording good songs! Don’t lose your recording career because you’re too high and too drunk to take care of your priorities.
- Get a good lawyer and a great manager!
- Understand that fans changes favorites like they change their underwear. They love you this year but can barely remember who you are next year!
- Have something to fall back on (cameraman, producer, video editor, sound engineer, etc.). Preferably a college degree! I’ll talk about how difficult it is to get an interview at the major companies without the right “paper”, in another post.
- If you finally are living your dream and have the hottest record or CD out right now, think about this; what ever happened to…
- Wu Tang Clan
- Naughty By Nature
- Arrested Development
- Digable Planets
- Onyx
- Brandy
- Maxwell
- Next
- Etc.
These are just a few that I hope had a good back-up plan. Feel free to add to this list by posting a comment.
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